Set Boundaries with Family

It is inevitable that your family will always want more from you than you are able to give. Your family wants your unwavering and constant attention; and they want your attention particularly when the matter they deem as urgent is not really urgent. It is no easy thing to say no to your family. It is a task in itself. Therefore, start discovering ways in which you can achieve small successes.

For example, don’t volunteer your time. Don’t say “I’ll do it” before the family member finishes saying what he/she needs. Bite your tongue. Shut your mouth. Run out of the room. Do not volunteer! Wait to hear what the family member needs first. Take some time to think about it. Determine if you are able to provide a solution. Then offer the type of solution that meets the needs of the individual, but also doesn’t cause you to burden yourself to the point of mental and physical exhaustion.

Listen to what the family member is not saying.  Most family members can do what they are asking you to do; they just don’t want to do it. Therefore, if the family member is able to do the thing he/she is asking you to do, then let that person do it. Let the family member be responsible for their own lives.

Quit trying to save stubborn family members.  For the ones who won’t listen to your advice or to any advice, the ones who know everything, know when to stop rescuing them.  These types of people just want to take up your time. Your encouragement entertains them. They do not want to listen. Cut them loose. Don’t cut them out of your life, but know when to cut the purse strings. You know just when to cut them off when you have told them many times over the same common sense thing. They don’t care. They don’t value your encouragement. Your words entertain them.

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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