Figure 52: Essay Excerpt for Redundant Phrasing

Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Redundant/Redundant Phrasing.”

You may access the comment by clicking on the “R” category or by typing the title into the search box.

You may print the excerpt for class discussions.

Figure 52: Essay Excerpt for Redundant Phrasing

Answering the question of whether or not we should comply with or resist the signification of Christmas as “nigger,” deals primarily in part with Faulkner’s representation of Burch.

Revision Considerations

Choose one word. Choose either “primarily” or choose “in part.” They both evoke the same meaning. Always remove unnecessary phrasing as part of developing revision objectives. To your professor, your sentence appears too wordy and you also appear calculating, almost to the point of trying too hard.  As a result, your paper results in a less than genuine effort.

Group Activity

1) Exchange essays.

2) Review the student’s paper. Search for wordy phrasing.

3) Edit the student’s paper by using wording that is precise.

4) Refer to a dictionary for each word you insert into the student’s paper.

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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