Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Rephrase.”
You may access the comment by clicking on the “R” category or by typing the title into the search box.
You may print the excerpt for class discussions.
The following excerpt represents an example of how the student fails to define key terms or how she will use them within the essay. In addition, the student also doesn’t provide examples in relation to the phrases she uses.
The inequality of nature, whether racial, gender-based, certain beliefs or religious, has held up to personal opinions as well as professional. The most popular form of inconsistency of humanity falls under social class and/or rank. There will always be one class that will feel that they possess or that they hold precedence when it comes to intellect and the will for progress.
Figure 53: Essay Excerpt on Ortega Y. Gasset
The student doesn’t define terms and phrases within the context of both the analysis and the author’s work.
1) What are “certain beliefs”?
2) What connection do they have to the “inequality of nature”?
3) How is humanity “inconsistent”? In what way?
4) What “one class” feels this? What is the precedence? How does the one class use this precedence?
5) What is the connection between “precedence” and “progress”?
As a group, answer these questions.
Rewrite the student’s analysis.
Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.