Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Sentence Unfocused.”
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In a chapter entitled “Odysseus’ Scar,” Auerbach explores the visible nature of identity, whereas the modern conception is often internal.
Figure 63: Essay Excerpt on Auerbach’s “Odysseus’ Scar”
1) How does Auerbach explore the visible nature of identity?
2) What is the visible nature of identity?
3) What is the modern conception?
4) Does the “modern conception” of this sentence refer to the modern conception of the nature of identity?
5) Does Auerbach explore the modern conception?
1) Reread Auerbach’s work.
2) Answer the questions (above).
3) “Focus” the student’s sentence by rewriting it for clarity.
Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.