Archive for category Figures

Figure 89: Sample Student Paper on “Chrysanthemums”

The following sample student paper falls under the glossary comment “Analysis.”

You may access the paper by clicking the “Analysis (Glossary Comment),” “Figures,” “Case Studies,” and “Sample Student Paper” categories.

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Figure 89: Sample Student Paper on “Chrysanthemums”

Regina Y. Favors

Professor Cost

English 208

23 February 1999

“Chrysanthemums”

          In “Chrysanthemums” John Steinbeck, the author, focuses on Elisa Allen, one of the main characters.  She is presented as weak in that her daily activity consisted of tending her garden of chrysanthemums; Steinbeck focuses on how they provide insight into Elisa and how she relates to them, religiously.  He implies that even though she fits a weak character, there are places in the narrative at the beginning that suggest some strong points and her longing towards the end.  There are a number of inferences that Steinbeck clearly illustrates how she is presented as weak and should therefore be discussed.

The narrative starts out with Elisa working in her flower garden.  She looks down across the yard and sees Henry, her husband, talking to two businessmen; they are making a proposition to Henry for his thirty heads of three-year old steers.  Elisa takes several glances at the men as they smoke cigarettes and talk; her “face was lean and strong and her eyes were as clear as water . . . her figure looked blocked and heavy in her gardening costume, a man’s black hat pulled down over her eyes, clod-hopper shoes, a figured print dress almost completely covered by a big corduroy apron with four big pockets . . .” (Steinbeck 220).  Steinbeck clearly shows Elisa’s habitual activity; it is implied that she even wears the exact same thing everyday.

Elisa continues to glance down at the tractor shed where the men where.  There is an anxiousness in Elisa.  Her “face was eager . . . mature . . . handsome; even her work with the scissors was over-eager, over-powerful.  The chrysanthemum stems seemed too small and easy for her energy” (Steinbeck 221).  Steinbeck paints a clear picture as to how religiously Elisa tends her garden.  She takes off her glove and places her hands down into the soil.  She recognizes that her flowers hadn’t completely bloomed.  She starts tending her garden at the sound of her husband’s voice.  “He had come near quietly, and he leaned over the wire fence that protected her flower garden from cattle and dogs, and chickens” (Steinbeck 221).  It is evident that the fence that protected the flowers was put there also to protect Elisa.  It is also clear to say that the protection from the cattle, dogs, and chickens symbolizes protection from outsiders.  Henry protected Elisa in the same way she protected her flowers.  No one could get close or converse with Elisa.  At the sound of his voice is when she can start.  Everything had become so traditional that she had become accustomed to waiting until he finished his business to start her daily activity.  Henry never included her in any of his business.  She was best seen and not heard.

Henry follows, after Elisa starts gardening, by commenting on how well she’s done.  He recognizes that she does have a gift and she replies in a tone unheard as very sure of herself.

Elisa continues gardening when she is approached by a visitor in a wagon off his usual road.  They both exchange words and humor and Elisa gives him the directions back onto the road.  The visitor claims he’s in no hurry to leave and leans over her fence.  He asks her if she noticed the writing on his wagon; “I mend pots and sharpen knives and scissors . . .” (Steinbeck 223).  He told Elisa that he hadn’t had anything to do all day.  He reminds her that he’s off his general road and that normally he would have work today.  Elisa became annoyed at his request.  It wasn’t until he looked down at her chrysanthemums and commented on them, that she let down her guard.  “The irritation and resistance melted from Elisa’s face” (Steinbeck 223).  In order to get what he wanted the visitor told Elisa exactly what she wanted to hear; he changed his tone quickly and agreed with whatever she said.  He even went as far as telling her that there was a woman down the road who had everything in her garden except for chrysanthemums; the woman, he referred to, told him if he ever came across anyone with some chrysanthemums, to get her some seeds (Steinbeck 224).  Elisa instantly grew eager.  It never dawned on her that he had said not once, but twice that he was off his general road.  Since he was off is general road, he couldn’t have known which way or the other if there was a woman down the road.

Elisa, inadvertently, let the visitor through the picket gate.  She ran to her flower bed gathering the necessary seeds for the pretend woman down the road.  She gives the visitor a complete description of how to plant the seeds and the daily activity that goes along with it.  After he tells Elisa that it’s not nice to see the stars and listen to the quiet without dinner, ashamed, she is forced to find something for the visitor to do.  The visitor’s manner changes and he becomes professional when Elisa brings him two old aluminum saucepans; “Good as new I can fix them. . . . His mouth grew sure and knowing” (Steinbeck 225).

Steinbeck presents Elisa as inquisitive and strong-minded when it comes to thoughts, but fails on her actions.  Elisa questions the visitor as to whether or not he sleeps in the wagon; she tells him that it must be nice and wishes that women could do such things.  He replies that it isn’t the kind of place for a woman.  On the defensive, she questions his knowledge on his stated opinion.  He responds in protest that he doesn’t know and hands over the saucepans hurriedly.  He didn’t want to argue with her.  Elisa paid him for his time and replied, “You might be surprised to have a rival . . . I can sharpen scissors . . . I can beat the dents . . . I can show you what a woman might do” (Steinbeck 225).  Instead of say what a woman can do, she said might.  The whole objective of the visitor was to get what he wanted and be on his way.  He never concerned himself with the chrysanthemums.  It was apparent, because when he gathered up his things to leave, he had forgotten about the chrysanthemums; and Elisa failed to notice.  She was so preoccupied with the compliments made to her about her flowers she played into his deception.  As he left, she mumbled aloud, “That’s a bright direction.  There’s a glowing there” (Steinbeck 226).

Steinbeck shows Elisa startled by her own whisper; she ran back into the house and prepared for Henry’s arrival and their departure into town. In this part of the narrative, Elisa is exhaustively making preparations.  After her shower, “she puts on her newest under-clothing and her nicest stockings and the dress which was the symbol of her prettiness.  She worked carefully on her hair, penciled her eyebrows and roughed her lips” (Steinbeck 226).  Before, as stated earlier, Steinbeck shows Elisa as representing a man through her attire.  Now the dress symbolizes, as the author states, her prettiness; or the more appealing, attractive part of Elisa.  Henry comes in and comments on how nice she looks.  She questions his motive and he returns dumbfounded.  He comments again on how strong she looks and she replies, “I am strong?  Yes, strong . . . I never knew before how strong . . .” (Steinbeck 226).  It is clear that even though she concludes that she is strong, she still doesn’t feel it because she had to question first and answer later.

They both leave and Elisa notices the visitor as they pass him on the road.  She tried not to look, but did anyway.  She failed to tell Henry that he’d stopped by.  She comments that their outing would be good tonight; Henry instantly noticed that she had changed again.  Elisa notices the plants on the side of the road that the visitor throws out.  She immediately feels rejected and defeated.

Elisa is clearly painted as a weak character.  She is a lonely and detached woman.  The chrysanthemums created a distraction from her loneliness, her isolation because of the fence around her, and the feelings of inadequacy.  Towards the end she questions whether or not she is strong.  Steinbeck provides a clear insight into Elisa and her garden of chrysanthemums.  Henry places a protective hold on Elisa, just as she is possessive over her chrysanthemums.  Elisa started out as strong, but ended up as weak and somewhat resentful to the fact.

 

Click the link to download the document.

The Favors Glossary Sample Student Paper on Chrysanthemums (FOR CLASSROOM USE ONLY)

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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Figure 88: Essay Excerpt on “Confessions of an English Opium-Eater,” Thomas De Quincey

Below is a sample excerpt where the student fails to define how she will use her thesis to usher the reader.

The excerpt falls under the comment “Thesis Unclear/Need a Clearer Thesis Sentence.”

You may access the comment by clicking on both the “T” and “Thesis” categories or by typing the title into the search box. You may also click on the link.

You may print the excerpt for class discussions.

Sample Excerpt

Racism, by definition, is associated with discrimination based on race; it is the belief that some races are inherently superior to others.  As is the case with Thomas De Quincey’s “Confessions of an English Opium-Eater.”  De Quincey approaches the reader from a first-person point of view.  He makes several racial and ethnic remarks about the Malay who knocks at his door.  Some of the remarks are biased and some are based on De Quincey’s personal feelings of the Malay.  Both views will be discussed.

Figure 88: Essay Excerpt on “Confessions of an English Opium-Eater,” Thomas De Quincey

Problem

The student writer doesn’t present a clear and definable thesis. In other words, the student doesn’t define her purpose for the essay she writes. In addition, the student applies contemporary ideals to a dated text.

Questions

1) How is “racism” associated with “race”?

2) Is not “racism” an extension of “race”?

3) What is your stance?

4) What exactly will you do?

5) By what method will you discuss De Quincey’s views?

6) Aren’t De Quincey’s remarks already biased and personal at the same time?

7) What else is there to discuss about De Quincey?

Revision Consideration

Always maintain the integrity of the text. Stay within the boundaries of the context. This will help you develop an appropriate thesis.

For an extended explanation, see also “Ambiguous (Thesis and Author’s Ideas).”

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved

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Figure 87: Sample Instructions for “JIFFY” Corn Muffin Mix

Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Well Done.”

You may access the comment by clicking on the “Affirmative Replies,” “W,” and “Conclusion” categories.

You may print the excerpt for class discussions. The sample is subject to U.S. copyright law and is only displayed here for educational purposes.

Figure 87: Sample Instructions for “JIFFY” Corn Muffin Mix

Yield 6-8 muffins depending on size

Ingredients

1 pkg. JIFFY Corn Muffin Mix (box)

1 egg

1/3 cup milk

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Grease muffin pans or use paper baking cups.

BLEND ingredients.  Batter will be slightly lumpy.  (For maximum crown on muffins let batter rest for 3 or 4 minutes, restir before filling cups.)

FILL muffin cups ½ full.

BAKE 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.

Source:  Chelsea Milling Company, www.jiffymix.com

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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Figure 86: Sample Excerpt from James D. Murphy’s Business Text (Whole Form)

Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Analysis.”

You may access the comment by clicking on the “Analysis (Glossary Comment)” and “Case Studies” categories or by typing “Task #7: Integrate” into the search box. The sample is subject to U.S. copyright law and is only displayed here for educational purposes.

You may print the excerpt for class discussions.

Figure 86: Sample Excerpt from James D. Murphy’s Business Text (Whole Form)

As a fighter pilot, I care very much about the overall objectives laid out by the general officers of the United States Air Force. . . . But I don’t operate in a generalized world.  My world is very specific.  I’m an F-15 air superiority fighter pilot.  I don’t drop bombs.  I don’t have a thirty-millimeter tank-killing gun like the A-10. . . . I do one thing well, and that’s provide air cover for ingressing bombers by taking out airborne threats.  I do not operate under the same rules as an F-117 Stealth pilot, or an F-16 pilot.  My mission objective is very specific, tied totally to my individual capability and my training.As such, it’s imperative that the mission I’m assigned is specific and precise, not vague or general.  Imagine if I went up in the air with only the following orders:  ‘Murphy, your objective is to kick Saddam Hussein out of Kuwait.  Good luck—let’s go kick some ass.’  It’s okay for Norman Schwarzkopf to say that; in fact, that’s what he’s supposed to say.

His job is to establish an overall objective for the troops, and to do it in such a way that all participants understand it and get behind it.  He probably doesn’t even know how I do what I do.  But he doesn’t need to know.  He simply needs to lay out a straightforward overall objective that can be divided into manageable parts that, when activated, will lead inexorably to the achievement of his objective.

How does this happen?  The military command structure underneath Schwarzkopf has to take his general vision and push it down through the ranks and into the cockpits, subs, and trenches—where it is presented not as a vision, but as a mission.  Directly underneath Schwarzkopf, the brigadier generals break the vision down into its individual parts—the Army does this, the Air Force does that, and so on.  Next, the commanding generals evaluate their individual assets and create an overall operations plan.  This called the frag, short for fragmentary order, the overall battle plan broken down into the relevant parts.  The bombers, fighters, and ground forces are all commanded to converge on a certain target at a certain time and in a certain sequence.

One level down, other officers convert the frag into even smaller parts.  The 1st Fighter Wing and its F-15s do this; the F-117 guys from Holliman do that.  The KC-10s will be waiting to give gas here, the A-10s will attack tanks there.

Yet another level down, wing commanders divide the frag again.  For example, they might decide that twelve F-15s will be responsible for providing air cover over a specific piece of ground, so that thirty-six bombers can come in under them and pound enemy targets that our ground troops will then secure.

With the group objective stated for the F-15s, the individual flight leaders, who might be young captains or lieutenants, will look at the airspace they need to sanitize and organize the F-15s with altitude blocks and lanes of responsibility so that we can absolutely, positively do our job—which is to make certain no one hops on the tails of the bombers.

At this point Schwarzkopf’s vision has become a mission for me, the individual pilot.  I don’t set my sights on something as personally unattainable as kicking Iraqis out of Kuwait, but I am ready to give my life to protect an important lane of airspace with my F-15.  I’m ready to give my life in the execution of a clear, measurable, attainable mission that supports the overall vision of my commander. . . .

How often do companies ask their employees to execute their jobs under the banner of a ‘mission statement’ or a generalized corporate goal?  A mission statement is fine, but like an overall objective, it isn’t specific enough to lead anybody anywhere.  Mission statements aren’t marching orders.  They sound good, they make sense, but they have zero effect until the organization breaks them down into finer and finer pieces, from rank to rank, presented clearly to each and every employee as a specific task with a measurable outcome that is his and his alone to perform. . . .

Like the Air Force, your company should use its command structure to filter a general vision down to the level of the individual employee.  And it shouldn’t be a great leap from the general vision to the individual missions, either.  There should be a logical, sequential breakdown of the vision, so that each group can responsibly accomplish its human-scale goals.

Source:  Business is Combat by James D. Murphy, pages 42-25

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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Figure 85: Essay Excerpt on “Chrysanthemums” (Sampling Body Paragraph Exercise)

Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Analysis.”

You may access the comment by clicking on the “Analysis (Glossary Comment)” and “Case Studies” categories or by typing “Task #6: Sample” in the search box.

You may print the excerpt for class discussions.

Figure 85: Essay Excerpt on “Chrysanthemums” (Sampling Body Paragraph Exercise)

Steinbeck presents Elisa as inquisitive and strong-minded when it comes to thoughts, but fails on her actions.  Elisa questions the visitor as to whether or not he sleeps in the wagon; she tells him that it must be nice and wishes that women could do such things.  He replies that it isn’t the kind of place for a woman.  On the defensive, she questions his knowledge on his stated opinion.  He responds in protest that he doesn’t know and hands over the saucepans hurriedly.  He didn’t want to argue with her.  Elisa paid him for his time and replied, “You might be surprised to have a rival . . . I can sharpen scissors . . . I can beat the dents . . . I can show you what a woman might do” (Steinbeck 225).  Instead of say what a woman can do, she said might.  The whole objective of the visitor was to get what he wanted and be on his way.  He never concerned himself with the chrysanthemums.  It was apparent, because when he gathered up his things to leave, he had forgotten about the chrysanthemums; and Elisa failed to notice.  She was so preoccupied with the compliments made to her about her flowers she played into his deception.  As he left, she mumbled aloud, “That’s a bright direction.  There’s a glowing there” (Steinbeck 226).

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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Figure 84: Essay Excerpt on “Chrysanthemums” (Yanking Supporting Evidence Exercise)

Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Analysis.”

You may access the comment by clicking on the “Analysis (Glossary Comment)” and “Case Studies” categories or by typing “Task #5: Yank” in the search box.

You may print the excerpt for class discussions.

Figure 84: Essay Excerpt on “Chrysanthemums” (Yanking Supporting Evidence Exercise) 

Elisa continues to glance down at the tractor shed where the men where.  There is an anxiousness in Elisa.  Her “face was eager . . . mature . . . handsome; even her work with the scissors was over-eager, over-powerful.  The chrysanthemum stems seemed too small and easy for her energy” (Steinbeck 221).  Steinbeck paints a clear picture as to how religiously Elisa tends her garden.  She takes off her glove and places her hands down into the soil.  She recognizes that her flowers hadn’t completely bloomed.  She starts tending her garden at the sound of her husband’s voice.  “He had come near quietly, and he leaned over the wire fence that protected her flower garden from cattle and dogs, and chickens” (Steinbeck 221).  It is evident that the fence that protected the flowers was put there also to protect Elisa.  It is also clear to say that the protection from the cattle, dogs, and chickens symbolizes protection from outsiders.  Henry protected Elisa in the same way she protected her flowers.  No one could get close or converse with Elisa.  At the sound of his voice is when she can start.  Everything had become so traditional that she had become accustomed to waiting until he finished his business to start her daily activity.  Henry never included her in any of his business.  She was best seen and not heard.

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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Figure 83: Sample Passage from Steinbeck’s “Chrysanthemums” (Squaring Your Analysis Exercise)

Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Analysis.”

You may access the comment by clicking on the “Analysis (Glossary Comment)” and “Case Studies” categories or by typing “Squaring Your Analysis” into the search box.

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Figure 83: Sample Passage from Steinbeck’s “Chrysanthemums” (Squaring Your Analysis Exercise)

“While the man came through the picket gate Elisa ran excitedly along the geranium-bordered path to the back of the house.  And she returned carrying a big red flower pot.  The gloves were forgotten now.  She kneeled on the ground by the starting bed and dug up the sandy soil with her fingers and scooped it into the bright new flower pot.  Then she picked up the little pile of shoots she had prepared.  With her strong fingers she pressed them in the sand and tamped around them with her knuckles.  The man stood over her.  ‘I’ll tell you what to do,’ she said.  ‘You remember so you can tell the lady.’”

Group Activity

Figure 83 represents the source text. It is an excerpt from Steinbeck’s work.

1) As a group, compare Figure 82 and Figure 83. I have included the excerpt below for easy access.

Figure 82: Essay Excerpt on “Chrysanthemums” (Squaring Your Analysis Exercise)

Elisa, inadvertently, let the visitor through the picket gate.  She ran to her flower bed gathering the necessary seeds for the pretend woman down the road.  She gives the visitor a complete description of how to plant the seeds and the daily activity that goes along with it.  After he tells Elisa that it’s not nice to see the stars and listen to the quiet without dinner, ashamed, she is forced to find something for the visitor to do.  The visitor’s manner changes and he becomes professional when Elisa brings him two old aluminum saucepans; “Good as new I can fix them. . . . His mouth grew sure and knowing” (Steinbeck 225).

2) Identify where the student’s summary or analysis is similar to the ideas expressed within the source text.

3) Identify where the student’s summary or analysis is different from the ideas expressed within the source text.

4) Based upon your evaluation, as a group critique the student’s essay.

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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Figure 82: Essay Excerpt on “Chrysanthemums” (Squaring Your Analysis Exercise)

Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Analysis.”

You may access the comment by clicking on the “Analysis (Glossary Comment)” and “Case Studies” categories or by typing “Squaring Your Analysis” into the search box.

You may print the excerpt for class discussions.

Figure 82: Essay Excerpt on “Chrysanthemums” (Squaring Your Analysis Exercise)

Elisa, inadvertently, let the visitor through the picket gate.  She ran to her flower bed gathering the necessary seeds for the pretend woman down the road.  She gives the visitor a complete description of how to plant the seeds and the daily activity that goes along with it.  After he tells Elisa that it’s not nice to see the stars and listen to the quiet without dinner, ashamed, she is forced to find something for the visitor to do.  The visitor’s manner changes and he becomes professional when Elisa brings him two old aluminum saucepans; “Good as new I can fix them. . . . His mouth grew sure and knowing” (Steinbeck 225).

The keyword in this paragraph is “inadvertently.” The word “inadvertently” means in a careless manner; without intending to or realizing; not focusing the mind on the matter. I have highlighted the word by adding shading. If you are working from a hardcopy, use an actual highlighter on the text.

Group Activity

1) Refer to Steinbeck’s short story.

2) Consider Table 20:

Table 20: Assessment of Student Essay Body Paragraph Sentences (“Chrysanthemums”)

 Questions Student Essay Body Paragraph Sentences
 

Is Elisa doing this in a careless manner, without intending to?

 

Elisa, inadvertently, let the visitor through the picket gate.

 

Is Elisa doing this in a careless manner, without intending to?

 

She ran to her flower bed gathering the necessary seeds for the pretend woman down the road.

 

Is Elisa doing this in a careless manner, without intending to?

 

She gives the visitor a complete description of how to plant the seeds and the daily activity that goes along with it.

3) Rewrite the student’s analysis, removing “inadvertently” and applying an appropriate word that best reflects the ideas within the paragraph.

4) Include additional supporting evidence when necessary.

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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Figure 81: Sample Excerpt from “Letter from Birmingham Jail”

Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Analysis.”

You may access the comment by clicking on the “Analysis (Glossary Comment)” and “Case Studies” categories or by typing “Task #4: Level” within the search box. King’s work is subject to U.S. copyright law and is displayed here for educational purposes.

You may print the excerpt for class discussions.

Figure 81: Sample Excerpt from “Letter from Birmingham Jail”

       Now, what is the difference between the two?  How does one determine whether a law is just or unjust?  1 A just law is a manmade code that squares with the moral law or the law of God.  2An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law.2 To put it in the terms of St. Thomas Aquinas:  An unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal law and natural law. 

1Any law that uplifts human personality is just.2 Any law that degrades human personality is unjust.  2 All segregation statues are unjust because segregation distorts the soul and damages the personality.  2It gives the segregator a false sense of superiority and the segregated a false sense of inferiority.2 Segregation, to use the terminology of the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber, substitutes an “I-it” relationship for an “I-thou” relationship and ends up relegating persons to the status of things. 

2 Hence segregation is not only politically, economically, and sociologically unsound, it is morally wrong and sinful.  2 Paul Tillich” has said that sin is separation. 2 Is not segregation an existential expression of man’s tragic separation, his awful estrangement, his terrible sinfulness?  1 Thus it is that I can urge men to obey the 1954 decision of the Supreme Court, for it is morally right; 2and I can urge them to disobey segregation ordinances, for they are morally wrong.Let us consider a more concrete example of just and unjust laws.  2 An unjust law is a code that a numerical or power majority group compels a minority group to obey but does not make binding on itself.  2 This is difference made legal.  1 By the same token, a just law is a code that a majority compels a minority to follow and that it is willing to follow itself. 1 This is sameness made legal.

Let me give another explanation.  2A law is unjust if it is inflicted on a minority that, as a result of being denied the right to vote, had no part in enacting or devising the law.2 Who can say that the legislature of Alabama which set up that state’s segregation laws was democratically elected?  2 Throughout Alabama all sorts of devious methods are used to prevent Negroes from becoming registered voters, and there are some counties in which, even though Negroes constitute a majority of the population, not a single Negro is registered. 2 Can any law enacted under such circumstances be considered democratically structured?

Sometimes a law is 1 just on its face and 2 unjust in its application.  1 For instance, I have been arrested on a charge of parading without a permit.  1 Now, there is nothing wrong in having an ordinance which requires a permit for a parade.  2 But such an ordinance becomes unjust when it is used to maintain segregation and to deny citizens the First Amendment privilege of peaceful assembly and protest.

Within the excerpt, we have placed a #1 by all sentences where King discusses “just laws.” We have placed a #2 by all sentences where King discusses “unjust laws.” The purpose of this exercise is to determine if King presents a balanced view of both types of laws within the context of his letter. King appears to present both sides of what an unjust law means and what a just law means. Although he presents two sides, is King’s presentation balanced? The keyword in King’s text is “squares.”

Group Activity

1) On a separate sheet of paper, draw two columns.

2) Write all of the sentences under #1 within the left-side column. Write all of the sentences under #2 within the right-side column.

3) Compare, evaluate, and discuss the sentences.

4) Develop a one-paragraph analysis on both “just laws” and “unjust laws.” Maintain the integrity of the letter by including only context-specific information.

Click here for “The Favors Step-by-Step Squaring Process.”

To view the full version of King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” click here.

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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Figure 80: Abbreviating Quote Exercise (Remove Quotes)

Below is an excerpt that falls under the comment “Analysis.”

You may access the comment by clicking on the “Analysis (Glossary Comment)” and “Case Studies” categories or by typing “Second Part: Abbreviating Quotes (Task#3: Abbreviate)” within the search box.

You may print the excerpt for class discussions.

Figure 80: Abbreviating Quotes Exercise (Removing Quotes)

Elisa continues to glance down at the tractor shed where the men where. There is an anxiousness in Elisa. Her “face was eager . . . mature . . . handsome; even her work with the scissors was over-eager, over-powerful.  The chrysanthemum stems seemed too small and easy for her energy” (Steinbeck 221). Steinbeck paints a clear picture as to how religiously Elisa tends her garden. She takes off her glove and places her hands down into the soil. She recognizes that her flowers hadn’t completely bloomed. She starts tending her garden at the sound of her husband’s voice. “He had come near quietly, and he leaned over the wire fence that protected her flower garden from cattle and dogs, and chickens” (Steinbeck 221). It is evident that the fence that protected the flowers was put there also to protect Elisa. It is also clear to say that the protection from the cattle, dogs, and chickens symbolizes protection from outsiders. Henry protected Elisa in the same way she protected her flowers. No one could get close or converse with Elisa. At the sound of his voice is when she can start. Everything had become so traditional that she had become accustomed to waiting until he finished his business to start her daily activity. Henry never included her in any of his business. She was best seen and not heard.

Group Activity

1) Remove everything before the topic sentence, which represents the first underlined sentence.

2) Keep the topic sentence.

3) Keep the quote that supports a statement the student makes directly before it.

4) Remove the lines after the underlined quote.

5) Locate the analysis. Abbreviate the analysis.

Click here for “Third Part: Abbreviating Analysis (Task #3: Abbreviate).”

Copyright 2011 Regina Y. Favors. All Rights Reserved.

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